‘You can’t let a part of your story destroy you.’ @aliyahmariabee on instagram.
Letting go of hurt, especially hurt that comes directly from people who are supposed to care for you. Or people that promised you safety, loyalty and compassion is a very hard journey, but it can be put behind if you accept that the hurtful event (s) did occur and that you cannot control other people’s behavior.
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I have been hurt many times in this life, by people who always at some point seemed like ‘they were my whole world’. I found that they shined brighter than anything. Like a shiny toy that you want to take care of. But this toy bites, and you don’t understand why.
Questions like: ‘What did I do to this person? Do I really deserve to be this disrespected? Do I mean nothing to others? Is this how others see me too? Maybe they’re right, I am difficult to respect and love. Should I wait and see if they hurt me again?’, are the type of questions I am all too familiar with.
Letting go of hurt in the beginning is tricky. When we are hurt, we turn to hate. Because it is easier to hate than to admit that you should have seen this coming.
But it is not your fault, how could you have seen this coming? You are full of hope and love, so you expect others to also be filled with it. You are a compassionate human being who loves and wants to be loved, and that is beautiful!
The first step to letting go of hurt, is forgiving yourself. Forgive yourself for somehow being in a hurtful situation. Forgive yourself for not leaving from the 1st red flag. Forgive yourself for loving hard. Forgive yourself for taking a chance at life. Forgive yourself for not trusting your instincts. Forgive yourself for not putting your safety first. Forgive yourself for not understanding that you were being hurt. Forgive yourself for having an open heart to those who hurt you. Forgive yourself for holding on to the hurt feeling, and forgive yourself for using that hurt as a driving force for how you currently live your life.
My latest phase of my life has taught me that how others treat you is never a reflection of you. The names they call you as a whisper behind your back, has nothing to do with who you are. And I know that this is difficult to come to terms with. Specially since the people who hurt us the most, are usually the people whose opinion we care about the most. But whatever mean and terrible thing they say to you, is a reflection of themselves. A projection who what they feel insecure about within themselves.
You aren’t unlovable, you deserve to feel pure love, be loved and love others unafraid. Don’t rush the process of letting go, it takes time. And in that time you will discover things about yourself. that will make you appreciate who you are and how far you have come.
Here are a couple of affirmations:
I am whole.
I am sensitive to others, because I am compassionate. And that is okay.
I trust myself.
My whole being is protected from those who could hurt me.
I have a purpose in this life, I trust the path.
I deserve to feel loved deeply.
I let go of what does not serve my purpose.
I respect myself, so I expect others to respect me.
Those that have been removed from my path, I wish them well.